The day after my previous post, I went on vacation for a week and a half, and promptly fell into doing absolutely nothing productive. Including, it seems, writing here. And when the new year came and I got back to work... well, being the only full-time developer on my team
I've been taking time away from Mastodon, and to a lesser extent from social media in general. The number of people I interact with daily has gone down... but when I do talk to people, it's more in-depth, and less frustrating. And my mental health, I think, is improving as
I put other people first so often, and other people put me first so rarely, that it's easy to feel powerless in my own life, and to get hurt by the thoughtlessness of others - and to have no recourse, because speaking up gets me punished. The impulse to hurt
I've run out of them for "I don't have anything to say here". But then, I've missed a couple days this month. I guess "post every day" went by the wayside as soon as November ended. I've been depressed for the last couple weeks. I thought at first it was
"I want to write here," I write in my journal. It's been fourteen days since my last entry. "But I can never come up with anything to put. One day is functionally like the next and the last. Even I don't change except to grow older and sadder."